am i being selfish?

[love_n_lies420]

ok so ive been talking to this guy for a while now. we have plans for valentines day and everything. hes completely head over heals in love with me and i do care about him. but everyday my mind changes on what i want. hes so not the kind of guy im usually into. like at all. hes really sweet and thoughtful though. and pretty understanding about my craziness. i know that ive got one of the good ones. horrible of me i know but im mostly interested in the physical relationship right now. yes i feel more for him than that. but i dont think i can give him the love he wants as soon as he wants. im sure one day i can love him but am i selfish to keep him waiting so long for me to call him my boyfriend or say i love you when im getting all that i want from him? more than i want even.

[DarbysCosmetics]

Now, as long as youre not holding out on him like while you're talking to him you're fooling around with other guys. Now that, is very shallow. Don't do that! If you feel the need for a physical relationship with other guys you need to be straight up with him about that. Where as if you are only caring for him and wanting that physical relationship I'm sure he will definately understand and be ok with that. But if you aren't ready for a commitment to anyone then you need not lead him on. I've done this before and it really doesn't end well. As for now, I'm in an amazing relationship with a guy who I fell for and theres a story to this whole relationship. But I wont talk about that. As for you, you need to decide if you want to be with him and work on it and just be friends for now and work from there, or be friends and be able to see other people. Because from what I am seeing, hes a great guy, but not the kind of guy that you want for yourself. But that really isn't for me to decide. As for selfishness, it wont be selfish if you don't lead him on. You can't help it if you aren't in love with him. Nobody can control how they feel, shoot if they could this whole world would be at peace dontcha think? Well, good luck I really hope I helped you in some way.

[love_n_lies420]

no im not holding out on him. and i dont wanna be with other people. i want him. and i know he is right for me in the future. and i talked to him the other day about some of this. not wanting the bf gf stuff at this moment and everything. and he understands. im not sure its ideal for him but hes willing to work with me. so thats pretty awesome of him. i just hope that it doesnt take too long for me to want everything he wants and him get sick of waiting. he said he wont but i still feel like im being stupid about all of this. im very complicated. lol to the point that i annoy myself.
but yes you did actually help. put some things in perspective so thank you.

[Natalie02]

Sounds like you dont know what you really want..How long have you been dating this guy?

You say he's not the type of guy you usually go for? What is your type? Trust me, a lot of girls have a "type" but never end up dating that guy. When you have feelings for someone that kind of stuff goes away.

[DarbysCosmetics]

your welcome :] and well in that case its not selfish at all you know? Because youre not ready for a serious relationship so fast(im the same way) and hes being a good guy understanding and the fact that he will wait for you shows he's going to definately be a good guy. I hope things work out for you

[love_n_lies420]

well natalie. we ahve been dating for maybe like a month. im not quite sure though im bad with stuff like that. but as for my type. im not shallow at all!! but hes really skinny. kinda scrawny. i usually like a guy with a lil more meat on his bones. and i love a guy with tattoos and piercings. he prolly wont get ne peircings and i dont think ne tattoos unless its like his friends name that died. but that i can deal with cuz im sure ill have enough tattoos and peircings for both of us lol. and i drink and smoke and all that and he doesnt do anything like that. which isnt a bad thing but he will want to stay out of that part of my life. he says hell learn to deal with it but i dont want him to have to DEAL with ne thing i do. i want him to be ok with it. hes really outdoorsy and athletic i love that. but he just seems like such a good person. and im not at all.


thank so do i. he really is a good guy. and im lucky to have him even though i dont think i deserve him.

[Natalie02]

Oh okay, Its only been a month, Thats not bad at all, Give your self a couple months to decided whether your still into him. Also gives him a chance to get to know you more. Your at that point where your getting to know eachother. Just make sure that you dont mislead him thinking something will happen soon. Everyone has that certain type of guy , but a lot of them never end up being with that type. This guy seems like a keeper, You want someone that will treat you right. Those type of guys you want, will probably treat you badly and no one deserves that. Not even you.

[love_n_lies420]

well thank you for that.

but im pretty sure its over with him. this past week has been ridiculous. i dont know what i want or what to do now.

[Natalie02]

Im sorry to hear that. What happened?

[love_n_lies420]

idk. he came here and we spent 2 days together. and like the morning after he left he was acting all weird. and saying he doesnt know what he wants. and idk after that i just dont wanna be in a relationship right now.

[yan]

that not being selfish. im sure he will understand if you still keep him waiting for a long time. that if he really loves you.

[Karasu]

Yes, he will wait. But are you really sure you want a guy like him who acts like a faithfull dog? To me, it seems as if you are looking for some exciting experiences. Don't use him as an insurance you can rely on, if other relationships may fail...