"Best Friends"? Do they REALLY exist?

[iheartmakeup123]

Hello everyone,

I know a lot of the posts on here are regarding marital and dating relationships but I thought I'd do something a little different. I am curious as to see who believes in the concept of best friends. I've personally had hurtful experiences around relationships with girl friends dealing with this concept and am very strongly opinionated about it. As a young girl I didn't give it much of a thought and did have a best friend, thinking the plans would never change. I think as a kid social status, jealousy and drama aren't as outstanding as they are when you get older. Turns out other plans were made for my "best friend" and I. We went to different high schools and had prominent experiences in our lives that forever changed our values and opinions, thus changing our relationship. I don't believe in the term best friends because:


1) If you think about it, broken up the term is BEST-FRIENDS----> referring to someone who is a superior and exclusive figure in your life. I would personally feel tied down and under pressure to keep up a relationship if I was identified as a best friend or if I referred to someone as a best friend.
2) I think the expression can blind people from experiencing other things and meeting other people who may not be better but more of a fit than the current best friend.

3) From personal experience, I know it can be hurtful to feel like you're not good enough for a friend when they have a best friend. Knowing that a person chooses to construct their life in the form of a social pyramid can be dramatic, immature, and curiosity-provoking. Most importantly it can be hurtful if you are not a king, for lack of better words, on the social pyramid but rather a peasant. I find that to be an immature, unnecessary game.

Additionnally, you will most likely end up finding yourself getting hurt from putting so much energy and work into a single relationship when there is so much more out there. Why not treat all your friends as equals and value each person's individual qualities? It is impossible for one person to offer everything you desire in a friendship, so why not have 10 friends who each have one quality? These are just my opinions, so I guess what I'm trying to say is: Best friends: Hot or not? What do you guys think?

iheartmakeup123

[makeupjunkie99]

This was a great post! I will say in between.

[iheartmakeup123]

Thanks for responding! Would love to know more about your thoughts on this!

[Cosmetology Campus]

I personally don't agree with your 1st and 2nd points since having a best friend is not pressuring someone or preventing the other person to grow. I think your 3rd point is somehow true but again, social pyramid is only a personal concept not a universal classification of bestfriends. It's just having someone who knows your every inch of personality. Many of my friends considered me as their bestfriend but I only have my sister for that classification. Though I don't tell her everything, she's been there for me through my ups and downs and she never leave my side. I was the only one who always want to go somewhere far from her. lol. teary-eyes...

[iheartmakeup123]

I didn't say that having a best friend can constrict someone from growing personally as much it may make one feel obligated to maintain the relationship and always put it first. That is true about the social pyramid, I was only using that to describe how I've noticed people with "best friends" create relationships, based off some sort of seniority and so on. I don't think it's possible for someone to know your every inch of personality, unless you are by nature an excessively open person who is blinded by the possibility of someone being untrustworthy (which EVERYONE is guilty of being). I completely agree with your point about your sister, I think family is extremely reliable and if you have a stable home life with strong family ties, you are all set. Thanks for your opinions!

[tydge]

You really would not know if a friend is for real until you are situated at a rather harsh moment which could really test your supposed friendship. More often than not, you will be surprised that the one you consider as your best friend would leave you at this time and find someone who will step up, again more often than not, that person is not someone you would expect.

[iheartmakeup123]

You are absolutely right! Thanks for your input!

[Fidjina]

Hello everyone,

I know a lot of the posts on here are regarding marital and dating relationships but I thought I'd do something a little different. I am curious as to see who believes in the concept of best friends. I've personally had hurtful experiences around onlinelogoteenmagazine
relationships with girl friends dealing with this concept and am very strongly opinionated about it. As a young girl I didn't give it much of a thought and did have a best friend, thinking the plans would never change. I think as a kid social status, jealousy and drama aren't as outstanding as they are when you get older. Turns out other plans were made for my "best friend" and I. We went to different high schools and had prominent experiences in our lives that forever changed our values and opinions, thus changing our relationship. I don't believe in the term best friends because:


1) If you think about it, broken up the term is BEST-FRIENDS----> referring to someone who is a superior and exclusive figure in your life. I would personally feel tied down and under pressure to keep up a relationship if I was identified as a best friend or if I referred to someone as a best friend.
2) I think the expression can blind people from experiencing other things and meeting other people who may not be better but more of a fit than the current best friend.

3) From personal experience, I know it can be hurtful to feel like you're not good enough for a friend when they have a best friend. Knowing that a person chooses to construct their life in the form of a social pyramid can be dramatic, immature, and curiosity-provoking. Most importantly it can be hurtful if you are not a king, for lack of better words, on the social pyramid but rather a peasant. I find that to be an immature, unnecessary game.

Additionnally, you will most likely end up finding yourself getting hurt from putting so much energy and work into a single relationship when there is so much more out there. Why not treat all your friends as equals and value each person's individual qualities? It is impossible for one person to offer everything you desire in a friendship, so why not have 10 friends who each have one quality? These are just my opinions, so I guess what I'm trying to say is: Best friends: Hot or not? What do you guys think?

iheartmakeup123

Thank you for sharing this. This question is deep inside of me too.. I've suffered a lot from what I've heard in my back and I'm not sure I can answer your question however I think I would beg to differ in one thing in your best friend definition which is a best friend is not always somebody capable to fly higher than you and offer you a much better view of your life, a best friend is also someone that prooves to you your own value as a friend and that can also come from someone needy, someone asking alot from you, always looking for advice and taking your energy. hope this makes sense

[happy523]

Hello everyone,

I know a lot of the posts on here are regarding marital and dating relationships but I thought I'd do something a little different. I am curious as to see who believes in the concept of best friends. I've personally had hurtful experiences around relationships with girl friends dealing with this concept and am very strongly opinionated about it. As a young girl I didn't give it much of a thought and did have a best friend, thinking the plans would never change. I think as a kid social status, jealousy and drama aren't as outstanding as they are when you get older. Turns out other plans were made for my "best friend" and I. We went to different high schools and had prominent experiences in our lives that forever changed our values and opinions, thus changing our relationship. I don't believe in the term best friends because:


1) If you think about it, broken up the term is BEST-FRIENDS----> referring to someone who is a superior and exclusive figure in your life. I would personally feel tied down and under pressure to keep up a relationship if I was identified as a best friend or if I referred to someone as a best friend.
2) I think the expression can blind people from experiencing other things and meeting other people who may not be better but more of a fit than the current best friend.

3) From personal experience, I know it can be hurtful to feel like you're not good enough for a friend when they have a best friend. Knowing that a person chooses to construct their life in the form of a social pyramid can be dramatic, immature, and curiosity-provoking. Most importantly it can be hurtful if you are not a king, for lack of better words, on the social pyramid but rather a peasant. I find that to be an immature, unnecessary game.

Additionnally, you will most likely end up finding yourself getting hurt from putting so much energy and work into a single relationship when there is so much more out there. Why not treat all your friends as equals and value each person's individual qualities? It is impossible for one person to offer everything you desire in a friendship, so why not have 10 friends who each have one quality? These are just my opinions, so I guess what I'm trying to say is: Best friends: Hot or not? What do you guys think?

iheartmakeup123

[happy523]

[iheartmakeup123]

Happy523, your post isn't showing up :S And Fidjina, thank you for your input! You make a very good point regarding how friendships can reflect on how you are in a relationship. Thanks!

[palay]

yeah.know that

[iheartmakeup123]

Hi there! Sorry, I'm not sure what you mean. You "know what"? :S

[Cosmetology Campus]

furthermore, from my first comment, nobody wants to weigh people and categorize them in their lives. it's just the fact that some friends are closer than the others and some are not. the important thing is that they are true friends. whether they are the best friend in your life, or just a friend of a friend.